There’s a common sentiment that involves heavily pitying people that for whatever reason can’t biologically produce children themselves. I’ve always had trouble sympathizing with people that feel as if that type of situation is the end of the world, as if as humans we are just baby making machines and those of us that are unable are just somewhat less of a human. How absurd. When people decide they want children don’t their expectations have more to do with the next 20 years of the child’s life instead of the 9 months after conception? The process of birth is highly unique and I’m sure rewarding in many ways; however, the whole point of it is to leave the parent(s) with a life to look after. I find it extremely annoying when people act as if physically having a child is the only road towards parenthood.
You see, my mom raised me from a 3 month old very sick baby to the 26 year old person that I am today. Yet, she couldn’t have children. That didn’t stop her from fostering numerous children over the years that needed someone as loving as her to help them cope with the trauma that their birth parents brought into their lives. In no way does the ability to physically produce children make people acceptable parents; therefore, logically, the inability to have children should in no way hinder someone from being a good parent. I find it incredibly insulting and highly unimaginative when people act as if biology is this limiting factor. Adopting isn’t even that uncommon, according to PBS’s documentary Point Of View “In 2001, there were 1.5 million adopted children in the United States, representing 2.5 percent of all U.S. children.”
The fact of the matter is that for whatever reasons there are plenty of children in our own country that need a loving home. Do people honestly think they would love a human being less if it didn’t come from their own bodies? So is the love that you have for your partner not as deep (because obviously I’m assuming here that you are not blood relatives-let’s hope)? Of course not. But by saying that you only want kids that are “your own” isn’t that what you are really implying? Friends have always been like family to me. That’s not an uncommon thing to hear. Some of these people I would sacrifice a lot for and they aren’t related to me; hell, some of them weren’t even born in the same hemisphere as me. Is that love not genuine? Most people consider their pet’s members of the family and this isn’t thought of as too socially odd. We can all think of some exceptions here. Now I’m not comparing adopted children to pets, I’m just pointing to one more example of where someone’s love is not considered any less due to the simple fact that they aren’t blood related.
If I see a child scared and lost in a store I am going to help them. It shouldn’t matter if it’s my own child or not. I think it is similar with adoption. Regardless of whether the child shares your genes, if you raise them how could you think of them as anNow I’m not comparing adopted children to pets, I’m just pointing to one more example of where someone’s love is not considered any less due to the simple fact that they aren’t blood related.
If I see a child scared and lost in a store I am going to help them. It shouldn’t matter if it’s my own child or not. I think it is similar with adoption. Regardless of whether the child shares your genes, if you raise them how could you think of them as anything but your own?
NOTE: My partner thinks it’s an ego thing and I have to agree. Kind of like how people name their kids after the father generation after generation. Get over yourself already, let the kid be it’s own person.